Ever felt like you can really count on your partner to always be there for you, no matter what? That sense of high commitment is usually a great thing for relationships—it brings security and strengthens bonds. But a new study by former UNC Greensboro Psychology Department graduate student Raini Sizemore and her advisor, Dr. Levi Baker, suggests that there’s a dark twist to this tale when your partner is low on the personality trait agreeableness.
Agreeableness is one of the “Big Five” traits that many researchers agree define our personality. Agreeable people are kind, helpful, empathetic, while people low on agreeableness are… none of those things. Sizemore and Baker’s research — which tested nearly 800 people across three studies — found that highly agreeable partners behave less selfishly when they see their partner as committed. However, the double-edged sword bared itself for the partners who were low on agreeableness; they were more likely to take their partner for granted and behave selfishly when they perceived their partner as highly committed.
For example, let’s say you’re always leaving your dirty dishes in the sink because you know your partner will clean up after you. If they’re totally committed to you, you might feel even more entitled to get away with it, thinking, “They’ll never leave me, so why should I change?” On the flip side, if you’re more agreeable, you might feel more inclined to contribute positively to the relationship when you sense that commitment.
If you want to read the study, it’s available from the journal PLoS One here
